how to beat the crap out of chain mail


My friend Miss Fufu sent forwarded me one of the those “cleverness test” quizzes that are designed to make you feel stupid.  There were 4 questions and I got only 1 right,  which, according to the test, means that the average 4 year old is smarter than me, and most other adult professionals.

I replied and gave the quiz a piece of my mind.My response to the quiz is below, in blue.


this is the stupidest thing ever.  I refute the results of this test.  I am smarter than almost every four year old I know. Not just because I only got one right, but because it is stupid. heres why:

1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close
the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an
overly complicated way.
Doesnt a smart professional have to be prudent and use common sense?  This answer requires the professional to throw common sense out the window and assume that there is a refrigerator big enough to store a giraffe, or a giraffe small enough to fit into a refrigerator.  I would wager that either case is unlikely.

2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

Did you say, open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the
Wrong Answer.  Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.
This is ridiculous for the same reasons as number question# 1.  plus, if there can be a refrigerator big enough for giraffe, then why can’t there be one big enough for both animals? ALSO, the instructions never stated that the questions were related to each other.  If you’re going to go and ask a crazy random question like how do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator, then I am going to assume that the next crazy question is just as random.  I would have done the due diligence before taking this exam so this cannot be considered a real simulation.

3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals
attend…except one. Which animal does not attend?

Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You
just put him in there. This tests your memory. 
I got this one right only bcause I anticipated the stupidity of this exam.

Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you
still have one more chance to show your true abilities.
4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you donot have a boat. How do you manage it?

Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been
listening? All the crocodiles are attending the animal conference. This
tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.

This is the stupidest question of all.  I saw the lion king (six times) and I never saw any crocodiles.  The lion king only chills with herbivores that he and his pride can eat anytime.  There are hyenas in the movie that eat meat, but they live outside the kingdom of the Lion King and thus never would have been invited to the animal conference.  In Office terms, that’s like Dwight inviting Jim to a beet-pickling party. It just doesn’t make sense. Thus by extension one can safely surmise that the crocodiles, as fierce carnivores, would not have been at the party, but rather in the comfort of their swamp waiting to eat me if I swam across — if I can even swim at all.

I’m actually busy at work today….still found time to do this


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2 Comments on “how to beat the crap out of chain mail”

  1. Anonymous Says:

    You are confusing knowledge and intelligence. The age of a person is irrelevent when it comes to their intelligence. It does not increase with age. Knowledge does. This test is stupid, but your argument is stupid as well.

  2. Zuér Says:

    Actually, it’s not. Knowledge and intelligence are two different things, but intelligence requires a certain level of knoWledge and experience as a foundation in order to even be applied. That’s what common sense is, that basic foundation. And my point here wasn’t that adults are always more intelligent than kids; my point was that this quiz is a stupid way of testing someone’s intelligence in order to make the conclusion it alludes to, which you seem to agree to. Get your shit straight, anonymous.

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