Movie Review — My Blueberry Nights

The world-renowned director Wong Kar Wai’s big English film debut!

Who cares.  He sucks.  So does this movie.  And the rest of his movies.

In all fairness, I’ve only seen one other movie of his, Happy Together. Which means that I have no comeback when all my artsy frenchie friends tell me that I can’t judge his work until Ive seen one of his most beloved films, In the Mood for Love.  But I do know this: other than the fact that most of his movies are named after cheesy love songs, they are also focused on portraying poignant images of internal strife as a product of love and heartbreak. 

Blueberry Nights in no exception.  Dialogue is kept to a minimum in a film full of Wong’s characteristic awkward silences…fleeting moments when the script is suspended so as to force the audience to look beneath the words left floating in the air; to empathize rather than analyze.  These moments often coincide with striking imagery, ample in this in this film only when the camera focuses on the physically gifted Norah Jones, Jude Law and Natalie Portman.

Although the cast delivers solid performances, the script and direction leave a bland taste that belies the film’s title. The story is too sappy…a confused and heartbroken Jones visits a diner every night after it is closed to share a piece of blueberry pie with the handsome manager who faithfully awaits her…both of them lonely…like the lonely blueberry pie that is so good and sweet yet is always left untouched each day..the warm blueberry pie with ice cream melting over it..mmm have some pie baby…and then close your eyes to think about how good it is..and then fall asleep next to the nice warm blueberry pie, with a milk mustache and your nice warm lips slightly puckered so I can kiss them while you sleep.  OK I just got myself a little titillated..my description is better than the movie though, I swear!

 Thanks to Jude Law, this pie is not American…thank God.

Norah Jones isn’t bad in her acting debut, but the film doesn’t really give her much of a chance to shine OR to screw up.  Instead of demanding a lot from its actors, it relies too heavily on the imagery of Wong, which isn’t up to par in this one.  The constant interludes featuring images of oozing pie and (QUEENS BOUND) trains passing by to the backdrop of a full moon and a solitary saxophone…it’s a thick sauce with no taste.  It’s not one of those really bad movies where youre walking out complaining about why you paid $11 to see it, but it’s nothing special and barely even worth a rental. 

But that pie did look damn good. Mmm.

Rating:  2 out of 5 milk mustaches

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